Single Awareness Day?
Valentine’s Day 2024 is upon us. It’s a day where if you’re single, society really makes you feel like a loser. Hence, some folks call V-Day the single awareness day. A 2022 Pew Research Center study found that 63% of men aged 18-29 reported being single, compared to 34% of women in the same age group. There appears to be a significant gender gap in reported relationship status. However, follow-up analysis by other organizations using similar data suggests the gender gap isn’t quite as large as initially reported, possibly due to differences in methodology and sampling. So, are far more men lonely and single than ever before?
There’s evidence that young people (particularly in Western countries) are reporting less sexual activity compared to previous generations. However, interpreting the data requires some nuance. The studies show declines with research, like the General Social Survey and a 2022 study by Debby Herbenick, indicating a decrease in the frequency of intercourse. More young adults (18-24) report no sex in the past year compared to the past. The number of partners young adults tend to have fewer sexual partners than previous generations. With overall sexual activity, this includes masturbation, which some studies also show a decline in for young people. But consider these things, the definition of “sex.” Studies often focus on penetration, potentially missing other forms of intimacy and romantic expression.
There are generational differences. Attitudes towards sex may be changing, with more emphasis on emotional connection and consent, in a post-Me-Too world that’s a good thing. The impact of the pandemic, with social distancing and isolation, could have temporarily affected sexual activity. Trends differ by age, gender, location, and other factors. So, the answer isn’t so simple. While data suggests less reported sexual activity, it’s crucial to consider definitions, changing attitudes, and potential influences like the pandemic. The decrease might not reflect less overall sexual expression but instead evolving forms and priorities.
So, is love dead? According to data and studies, more young people are single and not fornicating like previous generations. Or so we’re being told. The evidence suggests both yes and no to whether more young people choose to be single. Here’s a breakdown of the complex situation. The data indicates an increase in singleness. Higher single rates among young adults. Several studies point to a rise in young adults (18-34) being single compared to previous generations. A 2022 Pew Research study found 63% of men and 34% of women aged 18-29 single, compared to 30% and 20% respectively in 1982. Later marriage for young people. People tend to marry later nowadays, with the median age for first marriage currently at 29 for men and 28 for women in the U.S. This means more years spent single in young adulthood.
A prioritizing of education and careers. With rising student debt and a competitive job market, young adults might focus on these aspects before seeking relationships. The data questioning the definitive increase. They’re shifting definitions. “Single” might not have the same meaning. Young adults might engage in casual encounters or short-term relationships without identifying as “in a relationship.” Impact of surveys. Self-reported data in surveys can be influenced by social perceptions and biases. The variation by factors. Singleness might differ based on gender, location, education, and social circles, making generalizations challenging. Overall, it’s likely that more young adults are experiencing periods of singleness than previous generations. This trend might be fueled by delayed marriage, career focus, and shifting relationship patterns. However, attributing this solely to a “choice” to be single requires caution, as factors like dating app behavior and survey limitations also play a role.
Men are lonely
Obviously, the data isn’t always straightforward. There may not be a 30 % gap between single young adult men and women. Other research claims it’s about 10%. So, is this still bad? Well, the one thing about life is change is always constant. Times have changed a lot from when I was in my 20s, single, and ready to mingle. There is a real achievement gap between men and women, with far more women earning bachelor’s and advanced degrees.
The economy in many Western nations has yet to recover fully since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. Inflation continues to make prices way too high. Groceries and the cost of rent are forcing folks to delay major life milestones like marriage and buying a house. Because that shit is fucking expensive. Finally, men’s role in the workplace has changed. With the decline of unions over the last forty, many blue-collar jobs have seen their wages stagnant or fall well below the cost of living. Men aren’t faring well in this economy. Hell, most Americans are doing so hot these days. Going out to dinner at a fancy restaurant for a date can be pricey af. But all is not lost as union membership continues to rise, and many Americans have had more favorable views of unions in recent years.
Who are all the young women dating then? That’s not a question that can answered straightforwardly. Like many romantic relationship statuses, it’s complicated. Multiple studies are available regarding the percentage of Gen Z identifying as LGBTQ, with some variation in their findings. Here are some key points. Recent estimates suggest between 20% and 30% of Gen Z adults (born between 1997 and 2003) identify as LGBTQ. A 2022 Gallup poll found that 20.8% of Gen Z adults identify as LGBTQ, while a 2023 Public Religion Research Institute (PRRI) report puts the figure closer to 30%. It’s important to note that these studies focus on adults, so they may only partially represent all Gen Z individuals (including teens). Bisexuality is the most common LGBTQ identity within Gen Z, followed by “something else” and then gay or lesbian. Gen Z is here and very queer, so as an elder millennial, I’m all for it.
Here are some additional points. These figures represent self-identification, and actual numbers could be higher due to factors like individuals who may be reluctant to come out. Gen Z may vary based on geography, cultural background, and socioeconomic status. Openness and acceptance towards LGBTQ identities generally increase, meaning these percentages may continue to rise.
For the women not part of the LGBTQ community, are they all just dating the same small cadre of men? Incels who call them the “Super Chads,”. Like, is there a secret group of super players that are dating all the straight girls? Or are all the straight young women boo’ed up with financially stable older dues. That’s ridiculous to consider. The data about modern relationships and modern male loneliness may be all wrong. All is not lost for those fellas looking to connect with another human being on a romantic level. Here are a few tips to get back in the game:
Online Dating
Around 30% of adults in the United States have used a dating app or site. (Source: Pew Research Center). Among U.S. smartphone users, 25.7 million are estimated to use dating apps as of 2023. (Source: Statista) Other things to consider: Online dating is more common among younger adults, with 53% of those under 30 trying it compared to only 13% of those 65 and older. (Source: Pew Research Center). According to the Pew Research Center, men are slightly more likely than women to have used online dating (34% vs. 27%).
Hobbies
Meeting people through hobbies is a fantastic way to connect with others who share your interests and values. Many hobbies, by their nature, involve interaction and collaboration, making them perfect breeding grounds for new friendships. Look for organizations related to your hobby: Whether it’s a local sports team, a book club, an art class, or a coding group, there’s likely a community waiting to welcome you. Online platforms like Meetup.com and Eventbrite can help you find relevant groups in your area. Volunteer with organizations related to your hobby: This is a great way to combine your passion with helping others while meeting like-minded people. Participate in events and competitions: Attending workshops, tournaments, or exhibitions related to your hobby can open doors to meeting new people, sharing experiences, and learning from each other.
Make time for non-romantic relationships.
Romantic relationships are meaningful, but they are certainly not the only relationship that enriches our lives. Here are some other crucial kinds of relationships, each offering unique value:
Familial relationships:
- Parents, siblings, grandparents, and other relatives provide a sense of belonging and identity
- Unconditional love and support
- Roots and history
- Lessons and guidance
Friendships:
- Close friends offer companionship and shared experiences
- Trust and acceptance
- Emotional support and understanding
- Fun and laughter
- Different perspectives and challenges
Platonic relationships:
- These can involve colleagues, mentors, or neighbors can provide intellectual stimulation and professional growth
- Guidance and mentorship
- Shared interests and activities
- A broader social network
Community relationships:
- Engaging with like-minded individuals or groups fosters a sense of belonging and purpose
- Collaboration and collective action
- Social change and positive impact
- Cultural exposure and understanding
For all my single fellas out there, we all can’t be Michael B. Jordan, a Hollywood star and sex symbol. It’s cool, though. There are a few things that young guys and some older guys can finally consider. You must value yourself for any stable relationship to work, whether romantic or non-romantic. It’s essential to just be yourself in dating and romance. I’ve said this a million times: no one is perfect. Not even Beyonce. We all have our flaws and perceived flaws. If you are a guy losing their hair, embrace the bald look. For my guys that ain’t 6 feet tall or taller, embrace being a short king. Look at Bruno Mars or Prince. You don’t have to be rich or famous to attract a mate. Last but not least, do you. Times have changed. Being single isn’t a sign of being a loser or undesirable. Nowadays, folks have so many relationship types to explore: traditional monogamous relationships, open relationships, polyamorous relationships, or no type of romantic relationship at all. Let’s make this Single Awareness Day the best one ever!
Evolving Folks Project 