Evolving Folks Project

In January 2024, Men’s Health Magazine published its survey results from it’s Men’s Health State-of-Weight Survey. They found that 1/3 of men were unhappy about their weight. Seventy percent of men in the same survey stated they felt conscious about their bodies. In our society, the focus on body image is typically directed towards women and girls. In reality, people of all genders can have issues with their body image, and this can impact men significantly. 

A person dealing with body image issues can end up with body dysmorphia. Contrary to older beliefs, BDD affects men and women equally. Estimates suggest around 5-10 million people in the U.S. have BDD. Studies show a significant portion of men (around 54%) exhibit signs of body dissatisfaction.

People’s dissatisfaction with their bodies is thought to be influenced by traditional and social media’s portrayal of unrealistic body standards. “Muscle dysmorphia” is a particular concern among men who perceive themselves as insufficiently muscular, causing them to engage in excessive exercise, prioritize unhealthy diets and supplements, and potentially abuse steroids. 

The “superhero standard” with unrealistic muscular physiques is very present, but there’s a growing awareness of its negative impact on men and boys. Thanks to the rise of superhero movies, over the decades we’ve seen some of our favorite male actors beef up and get ripped to the point of having single-digit body fat for roles. It’s set an unrealistic standard that most men won’t fit. Women and girls have suffered from unrealistic body standards and beauty ideals for centuries.

We should know that men and boys deal with body image issues, too. This doesn’t lessen the beauty and body standards expected of women and girls. Social media, movies, and sports depict the ‘perfect male’ physique. Some men go to extremes to reach this standard, including using steroids, getting surgeries for muscle implants, and human growth hormones. Some men who are shorter in stature undergo intensive leg lengthening surgery to gain a couple of inches in height. If you cruise Reddit Tinder Dating threads enough, you’d think every woman on a dating app looking to date men only wants a guy who’s six feet or taller. 

I’ve been married for a few years, so what I know about the dating scene is limited to what others have told me. Male height comes up often. I have a family member who is obsessed with dating men who are way taller than her, and she’s maybe 5’2”. Now, it’s their preference, but it limits her dating pool of eligible men because it’s only 14% of U.S. men who reach this 6ft height standard. It could lead to some insecurity in shorter men. They might feel their romantic options are limited, and then pressure a guy to get invasive surgery to gain a few inches. On several occasions, women have informed me, both in real life and online dating, that my height was a dealbreaker for them. Take it as you may, but all these women were all taller than me. In contrast, back when I was single, I had relationships with women who were taller than me. I may not tower over many men at 5’7″, but you learn to work with what you’ve got.

Considering the extensive use of invasive cosmetic procedures by women to meet certain beauty standards, it may be difficult to pity men in comparison. But body image harms men too. In the United States, there are many men are dealing with obesity. Over 40% of adult men in the U.S. have a classification of obesity, with a Body Mass Index (BMI) of 30 or higher. This translates to roughly 35 million men being obese. It’s been recognized that BMI may not be the most reliable way to gauge physical fitness because it can mistakenly classify individuals with more muscle mass as obese.

Obesity rates are higher among certain racial and ethnic groups, with Hispanic men (45.7%) and non-Hispanic Black men (41.1%) having higher obesity prevalence than non-Hispanic White men (44.7%). As a black man, this is very troubling, to say the least, but I will get into that later. 

My own body journey started in my teen years. I was a short and uber-skinny kid from the Southside of Chicago. By the time I graduated high school, I weighed a buck twenty soaking wet. I gained ten pounds during boot camp but got into physical fitness and weightlifting during my early service days. At first, it was only to ensure I passed the Navy PT tests to get a promotion. Then it evolved when a couple of young women I dated in my late teens and early 20s told me they liked how I looked with my shirt off. It was definitely a confidence boost, but I was working out for shallow reasons. 

As I’ve gotten older, it’s been more for health reasons, even watching what I eat. Everything else is just a side benefit. I knew getting into my workout journey as a young guy I wasn’t gonna look like Michael Jai White in Spawn or Michael B. Jordan in Black Panther. Hollywood actors, pro athletes, and elite fitness models have personal trainers, chefs, and dieticians working around the clock to ensure their physiques are camera ready. It can be a struggle for us regular guys who don’t have the time or bank account to afford a team of experts that’s gonna help us look like Dwayne Johnson. Moreover, it’s completely fine if many folks aren’t keen on having this look. I came to terms with the fact that my fitness journey wouldn’t make me taller or give me a bodybuilder physique. It’s still something I enjoy to this day. Nonetheless, there are times when I yearn for laziness and fantasize about spending the day lounging, munching on hot wings, drinking beer, and playing video games. There’s nothing wrong with that, by the way.  

I’m not perfect. I’ve probably drank too much in my lifetime, ate crappy fast food in my youth and in my college and grad school days, I partied hard. These days, I’ve calmed down a lot. Since 2018, I’ve stopped using marijuana and I’ve made an effort to only drink on weekends. It’s still a struggle, and we all have our vices, no one is perfect. 

Unfortunately, race plays a role in health outcomes, too. Black men in the U.S. have the highest rates of mortality for any group of men in the nation. While race may not hold up scientifically, it is undeniably a social construct. Institutional racism, discrimination, poverty, and lack of access to health care can harm a person’s mental and physical health causing severe stress. Even notable and famous black men in the public eye have died way before their 65th Birthday. Black men such as Chadwick Boseman, Michael K. Williams, Lance Reddick, Biz Markie, and DMX, tragically passed away before becoming senior citizens.  

Race and racism are an extra layer of bullshit wrapped in this shitshow we call life. I want to be healthy, and I’m working with healthcare professionals to manage my vices and mental health. I’m luckier than most because I have access to healthcare, thanks to the VA. But countless men struggle with health and body image and don’t have access to professionals. Many men suffer in silence because society conditions us from boyhood to suppress our feelings and emotions. This doesn’t help with the stress that can be a severe silent killer of men of all ethnic backgrounds. Men still struggle with our own beauty standards, like being tall, fit, and having muscles. There’s the rise of the #dadbod, but superhero movies still want their leading men to look like Chris Hemsworth. 

There is still hope. The body-positive movement, previously seen as more focused on women, is gaining traction for men, too. Studies show exposure to positive body image content on social media can improve satisfaction. More men are opening up more about body image struggles, reducing stigma, and encouraging help-seeking. 

We as a society need to take the mental and physical health of all men much more seriously. Some ways to address these challenges are in the realm of possibility; it’s just the fact that we need the will to do right by all our citizens. Universal healthcare would allow men from all socioeconomic backgrounds to access healthcare without worrying about crippling medical debt for getting sick or hurt. Or afford to seek mental health services which can be pricey even with health insurance. Fair and living wages will help relieve some of the financial stress that many people in the United States face, not just men but all working-age adults. It can be as simply as making the federal minimum wage match with inflation and costs. Capping inflation and taxing corporations that artificially drive up the costs to increase their profit margins would help every day consumer save money. Cutting back the cost for housing and food prices could lift an enormous burden off the backs of many, including your average Joe. Some may say these policy proposals are pie in the sky, but it is really up to the will of the people.

In the United States, the unfortunate reality has given rise to a culture of selfishness, with the mere idea of a social safety net being labeled as dreaded socialism. Given that humans are social creatures, a touch of socialism isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If our collective tax money is allocated towards these so-called ‘entitlement programs’, then they do not meet the definition of entitlements. It’s our taxes dollars being put to good used to serve the people. I’d prefer my taxes go to helping my fellow citizens, versus paying for drones to bomb poor people on the other side of the globe. By as one of the most famous #ShortKings in history, Dr. Martin Luther King once said, “We got socialism for the rich, and unchecked capitalism for the masses.”

Finally, breaking the stigma that men don’t deal with body issues would help. We live in a day and age where folks like the Liver King promote some fast way to being big and strong but scratch the surface, and some of these folks are lying about their so-called “healthy and fit” lifestyle. 

In a world where TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram fitness influencers, countless superhero movies, pro-wrestlers turned Hollywood stars, and the titans of the NFL constantly appearing on our TV, tablet and phone screens, it’s difficult to escape these unrealistic beauty standards set for men. I can relate to being influenced by the expectation of having a flawless male physique. In the past, I longed to be taller, stronger, and faster, but at 40, I’ve come to accept myself as I am. They’re fit athletes in peak physical condition who’ve dropped dead on the court; conversely, you have people who eat like crap and don’t take care of their bodies, but they live for eighty-plus years.

No two individuals are alike, and each person’s health journey is unique. Don’t compare yourself to others and try to chase an ideal body image. Whether you’ve been hitting the gym for years or are just starting out, go at the pace that works for you. There’s no problem with wanting to become healthier and more fit. It becomes an issue when you strive for an unrealistic idea, and don’t give yourself grace to be a fallible. It’s important to understand that each person has their own individual journey to health and wellness. I am still figuring out my wellness journey. 

I’m a peak psychical specimen…lol!