The Series Finale of the United States of America: Pumpkin Spice Apocalypse Edition

It’s that time again. It’s U.S. Presidential Election Season! Every four years, low-information sycophants voters get to go to the polls and vote for their favorite genocidal sports team. Team Red “McDonald’s Fascism,” aka the GOP. Or Team Blue, “We’re the Good Guys, Right,” aka the Democrats. Don’t worry; Wall Street and the Military Industrial Complex sponsor both major U.S. Political Parties. So what you want as a voter doesn’t matter because they don’t work for you, they work for big business and business is booming.

You might never get Medicare For All or get a raise if you work for minimum wage, but the U.S. government has plenty more bombs to sell to Israel. Why? Because Israel has a divine right to “defend” themselves. By defending themselves, our elected officials mean bombing every other country in the Middle East because Zionist Israel stands as a proxy for the continued U.S. Imperial project in the region. You can rest assured your tax dollars are being used to bomb innocent people in Gaza or being used to get a tax cut for Elon Musk. Conversely, his Tesla company sources cobalt from the Congo, where children as young as five mine it. The United States has a robust set of priorities. Those priorities are the priorities of Corporate America.

The politics of fear motivate partisan voters every few years in the never-ending U.S. election cycle. Project 2025 is basically the updated version of the same Republican playbook that was founded under the Tricky Dick era of President Nixon. Then perfected during the Reagan Era. President Trump 2.0 might become a thing, and the Democrats will be powerless to stop the rise of the right-wing takeover of the country. Why? Because Trump is an all-powerful overlord. Even though we’ve been losing rights long before Trump stepped into the Oval Office. Why? Because white people collectively fear immigrants and black people taking over the whole damn country. They disregard the reality of coexisting and sharing the world with different communities of non-white people. Only pesky, wussy socialists believe in sharing. We’re Americans, dammit!

Don’t worry; Europeans are in on the insanity as they move towards a path of right-wing fascism, too. The irony is that the West spent the last five hundred years colonizing almost every black, brown, red, and yellow nation. Or sponsoring the overthrow of democratically elected leaders in the Global South. Why? Those elected leaders in the Global South wanted the people of their country to benefit from their natural resources and share the wealth. Nope, that’s communism, and communism is evil, says the trolls on Facebook, IG, and Twitter. Now, the former colonized people are moving to the West. Only after the West destabilized their homelands. And the West has the nerve to be upset about it.

You basically burned down someone’s home and have the audacity to get mad when they show up at your doorstep demanding you give them a place to stay. Maybe don’t burn their house in the first place, and they won’t come knocking at your door. The United States is ground zero for the craziness. Trump and Harris are trying to one-up each other with oppressive right-wing border policy proposals for if their respective team wins the presidency. The border with Mexico is the only one considered ‘dangerous,’ despite the historical annexation of Mexican territory by the United States. Thanks, Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo! They didn’t cross the border. The border crossed them.

As the United States continues its freefall during Pumpkin Spice Apocalypse season, let’s get into some election talking points that always appear. Every four years, new channel political pundits, talking heads, and paid influencers on social media shout from the heavens, “This is the most important election of our lifetimes.” But with each passing U.S. election, the material conditions worsened for countless citizens. Sorry, liberals and conservatives, it’s a Tale of Two Cities or small towns. Rather, you’re in the urban centers like L.A., Chicago, or New York. Or if you’re in middle America in the trailer parks of Nebraska or rusted-out rural towns of Pennsylvania. Still, my fellow Americans continue to vote against their economic interest, but it’s all good if their respective team wins.

I have heat for both liberals and conservatives because they are two sides of the same political asscheek. But Liberals are the worst at vote shaming. They’re claiming that they’re trying to save democracy. By saving democracy, they mean voting for shitty Democrats who share the blame for the problems that the United States and the world face today. Issues like inflation, mass shootings, high housing costs, a woman’s right to choose, LGBTQ rights, endless war, genocide, and climate change. Remember, kiddies, according to the MSDNC watching liberals:

“A vote for Trump is a vote for Trump, a vote for Kamala Harris is a vote for Trump, a vote for the Green Party is a vote for Trump, not voting is a vote for Trump. Because all there is Trump, and everything is Trump.”

But no matter who wins in November, remember the immortal words of outgoing President Joe Biden, “Nothing will fundamentally change.

Also, liberals and the leaders of the Democratic Party seem to be obsessed with bipartisanship, a strong Republican Party, and working across the aisle like the Republicans and Democrats of the 1950s. A time when mostly white men held public offices, and Jim Crow was the law of the land. Kamala and Obeezy are touting that ghoul former Vice President Dick Cheney as a “good’ Republican who supports Team Blue for president. “Because Donald Trump is the most dangerous threat to our Democracy.” I guess they’ve rewritten history, but as a 41-year-old military veteran, I still remember how the Bush Administration lied about the “War in Iraq.” Or the war crimes of the Bush administration, including torture and lying about weapons of mass destruction. But the Biden administration is actively supporting genocide, and the Obama administration loved to drone civilians. It’s all making sense. Birds of a war crimes flock or bomb together. Just know when something bipartisanship happens in the United States, some little person is about to get blown up or fucked over or both. Just ask the people in Gaza and Lebanon these days.

If Donald Trump were such a threat to the system. How has the system allowed a man with 34 felonies who attempted to overturn an election to still run for office? Maybe the system is working the way it’s supposed to. If you are a poor black man who has a felon conviction on your record, it’s gonna be a tough time finding a job, and you can never vote again. But if you’re a wealthy white male billionaire with a God Complex and a stack of felonies. You can run for the highest office in U.S. politics. It seems the slave-holding founder fathers and their descendants created a nation for rich people by rich people. Of course, those rich elites built a nation on stolen land off the backs of free black slave labor, and immigrants paid a pittance for their labor. USA #1!

The ongoing series finale of the United States will continue to be a race to the bottom. And by the bottom, I mean a bottomless pit of nonsense and horror. The same crowd of folks who think Climate Change is a woke mind-hive Chinese hoax. Now, the MAGA folks believe liberals can control the weather and send superstorms to destroy the Red States. Because the MAGA crowd are such deep thinkers, they don’t think at all. What’s even crazier about the MAGA crowd is the sizeable amount of black, brown, and non-white Nazi sympathizers that have joined the Cult of Trump over the years. The United States will achieve something that Germany could never imagine. Create a rainbow coalition of Nazis.

Both parties have pledged allegiance to ensure that Israel continues to commit war crimes. Liberals think voting will get us out of this mess. Only voting for the same shit Democrats, not the Green Party. That’s a wasted vote. You see, Democracy for Democrats means just voting blue and doing nothing. Damn mutual aid, mass protests, promoting diplomacy, damn labor organizing, and peace. Nope, just vote harder, you fuck! Mamala will save us, so don’t you worry. I don’t get why liberals are so invested in turning elected officials into parental figures. It’s fucking weird.

As the U.S. empire collapses, we have more exciting times ahead. Things like more extreme weather, political assassination attempts, mass shootings, racial uprisings, or cat-eating.


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