A Day in the Life of a Grown-Ass Millennial

This year we millennials are officially becoming middle-aged. I can now consider myself an elder millennial. Never thought I’d be an elder, but life happens.

The last 20 years of millennials’ lives have been marred by crazy historical moments and events. I can’t believe we survived Y2K for this shit here: The terrorist attacks of 9/11, Iraq War 2.0 (I served), the 2004 tsunami, Hurricane Katrina (George W. Bush still doesn’t care about black people), Becoming Facebook official, China as a world power, the Great Recession, the Obama election, The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Occupy Wall Street, the Black Lives Matter uprising, Tinder, Gay Marriage passage, slidin’ into the DMs, the Trump election, the never-ending Coronavirus pandemic (Get vaxxed for the love of Gawd), Climate Change, Netflix & Chill, and another global recession. Adulting has been cray-cray for millennials. Good luck, Zoomers; you’re pretty much fucked.

But this is about us grow folk, so I bring you the day and life of an average grown-ass millennial.

  • Wake up and brush your teeth 
  • Try not to let existential dread set in 
  • Eat breakfast Go to work 
  • Eat lunch 
  • Go exercise 
  • Try not to let existential dread set in 
  • Make pasta for dinner 
  • Wash dishes 
  • Walk the dog 
  • Briefly realize that another world is possible 
  • Watch Netflix and Chill 
  • Try not to let existential dread set in 
  • sleep 

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