Evolving Folks Project

This summer, I turn 40 years old. This means I will reach that age range where some people hit their dreaded mid-life crisis. If I’m like previous generations of men who get to this point. It means I’d divorce my wife, buy a new sports car, and date a 21-year-old Instagram model. I doubt this will happen in my 40s. As an elder millennial, I can attest that life goes by fast. My parents have reached their senior years, my nieces and nephews are mostly adults, and I have friends who have kids who are getting ready to graduate high school and go to college. WTF!

It seems like it was only yesterday when I was eating P.B. n’ J sandwiches, playing Mortal Kombat on Sega Genesis with my brother, and watching the Green Ranger (RIP Tommy, aka Jason David Frank) saga unfold weekly episodes of Mighty Morphin Power Ranger. Now, I’m hitting peak career age when society tells those in their 40s to shut the fuck up about their life and go to work! I am glad and lucky to be reaching my 40th birthday. 

Some of my friends, family members, classmates, co-workers, fellow veterans (RIP my man Edmond Perkins), and countless notable celebrities never saw their 40th. If you’re alive, getting older happens. Remember, many people never get to middle age, let alone become senior citizen. Except for that ancient evil fuck Henry Kissinger, who is starting his tenth decade on Earth, while 2Pac didn’t make it to 30. Life ain’t fair sometimes. But reaching 40 does do something to some men. So can millennials have a midlife crisis? Let’s dive into what a midlife crisis means. 

It’s Coming the Midlife Crisis

A midlife crisis for men is a psychological phenomenon often associated with dissatisfaction, restlessness, or a desire for significant change during middle adulthood, typically between the ages of 40 and 60. It is important to note that not all men experience a midlife crisis, and those who do may have varying degrees of intensity and manifestation.

A midlife crisis is based on the idea that individuals reach a stage where they reflect on their accomplishments, goals, and overall life satisfaction. Men may question the direction their lives have taken and may experience a sense of disappointment or frustration. Some common signs or behaviors associated with a midlife crisis in men can include:

1. Desire for change: Men may develop a strong urge to make significant changes in their lives, such as career shifts, pursuing new hobbies or interests, or making drastic lifestyle modifications.
2. Questioning life choices: During midlife crises, men may evaluate their past choices and decisions. They may question their career path, relationships, and overall life purpose.
3. Fear of aging: The realization of getting older can trigger a midlife crisis. Men may become preoccupied with their physical appearance, health concerns, or the passage of time.
4. Seeking excitement or novelty: Some men may engage in impulsive behaviors or seek new and exciting experiences to regain a sense of vitality and adventure.
5. Relationship challenges: Men in a midlife crisis may experience difficulties in their relationships. They may question their marriage’s or long-term partnership’s stability and may be more prone to infidelity.
6. Self-reflection and self-evaluation: Men may deeply introspect, attempting to understand their true identity, values, and aspirations. This process can lead to soul-searching and self-discovery.

It is important to note that a midlife crisis is a subjective experience, and individuals may respond to it differently. Some men may navigate this period of their lives smoothly, finding positive ways to address their concerns and make constructive changes. Others may struggle and experience distress. If you or someone you know is going through a difficult time, seeking professional counseling or therapy can be beneficial in navigating the challenges associated with a midlife crisis.

The Xennials

Millennials, especially those who are the ones like me born between 1977-83, are sometimes called Xennials. Xennials are the micro-generation of people on the cusp of the Generation X and Millennial demographic cohorts. We’re stuck in the middle of Gen Xers and Millennials, y’all. Many researchers and popular media use birth years from 1977 to 1983 though some extend this to include those born up to 1985. Xennials are described as having had an analog childhood and digital young adulthood.

I remember the days of landlines, Blockbuster Video, and Sony Walkmans. I got my first cell phone when I turned 18 years old. It was the ancient year 2001 A.D. Millennials like myself, and countless others will not have a midlife crisis. You may ask why we won’t have the dreaded mid-life crisis. It’s because we Millennials have been in an existential crisis since the Bush Presidency. We came of age during the Columbine Mass Shooting, 9/11, Climate Change becoming a real threat versus a theoretical one (Miami and N.Y.C. will be underwater in a couple of decades), multiple economic recessions, a racist and rapey Reality T.V. star ascending to the presidency, and a goddamn global pandemic. 

I sometimes long for my childhood days of watching The Land Before Time. Life was much simpler back then when I was utterly ignorant of the insanity that is the adult world. This is why Millennials created the term known as “Adulting.” It’s because, often, adulting sucks, especially for a generation that has been traumatized nonstop our entire adulthood. 

The crazy thing is that Boomers still think millennials are in their late teens and early 20s. Because they believe we are a ‘woke,’ self-centered generation of whiners who need a ‘safe space’ and have ruined or canceled everything. Apparently, here are a few things millennials are blamed for ending. We millennials have destroyed sex. Even though Tinder became a thing in the 2010s, and then folks whined about ‘hook-up’ culture hindering marriage and relationships. Millennials ruined the housing market. Even though most working-class and some middle-class adults can’t even afford to rent an apartment in a city like New York City, San Francisco, or Chicago. Let alone buy a fucking house there.

I’m lucky to own a home, but that’s because I married someone more intelligent than me who pushed me to buy one. Since our rent was being jacked up again. Plus, I had a V.A. Home loan because the U.S. decided to get into multiple wars in the Middle East in the early 2000s since the terrorists were “Jealous of our Freedom,” according to that bastard President George W. Bush. He still doesn’t care about black people. We millennials are also the Iraq and Afghan Wars generation of veterans, so much for a safe space. War zones are horrible places for all sides of the conflict, and Boomers sent us to war. Shout out to endless wars and the shock doctrine. I fear once the millennials reach our golden years, we’re gonna vote to send the Gen Alpha to some useless war to make the Military Industrial Complex more cash and blow up a nation that wished us in the U.S. no ill will. But that’s because us millennials ruined blind patriotism. #GodBlessAmerica

Millennials ruined clubs and goin’ clubbin’ too. Although I live in ATL, many people visit Magic City and Onyx. Hey, a strip club is Club, dammit. As an elder millennial, I think most of the new music nowadays sucks ass. I’ve hit that point where I need help understanding the youth culture fully. Hell, I thought Lil’ Pump’s hit song “Gucci Gang” was a parody when I first heard it on Spotify. That’s the moment I realized I was getting fucking old. Maybe the final thing millennials ruined music too.

The Next Generation

We also have Zoomers and Gen Alphas, who have no idea where the origin of the slang term “Stan” comes from. They think Rapper Eminem is an asshole because he left a fan and his little brother waiting outside in the blistering cold for three hours without signing an autograph. WTF! That is a story Em made up for his 2000 hit song titled “Stan.” Which is a play on the words stalker + Fan = Stan. C’mon now. Why do you think we refer to the rabid Beyonce and Taylor Swift fans as ‘Stans”. Hey, I also worship at the altar of our Mother Queen Beyonce, BeyHive stans, and I wish her all the best. Now don’t come for me or my family.

Hell, some Zoomer on TikTok stated that every home should have a phone in the house that everyone shares. They just described a freakin’ landline phone. Landlines made my calls with my high school crush annoying because my siblings jumped on the line and made kissing sounds. Or my mom’s friend would call while I was trying to get my Mack on. Wait until the Zoomers discover that MTV played music videos once in history, and there was no YouTube.

So, will we elder Millennials have a mid-life crisis? We won’t because our generation has been screwed since the Reagan years. Student debt, endless wars, multiple recessions, pandemics, and skinny jeans are things we millennials have all survived. There’s no need for that mid-life crisis because, like I said earlier, we’ve been in an existential crisis our entire adulthood. We millennials aren’t having a midlife crisis because, at the age of forty, we’re already too old for this shit.