Evolving Folks Project

“I still get carded at the grocery store!” Many folks my age or a little younger will exclaim this with glee when they get an ID check if they buy booze or cigarettes. Maybe the cashier is just doing their job, and you actually don’t look like you’re under 21. Stores don’t wanna lose their liquor licenses. You ain’t cracked the fountain of youth, Linda. Yes, we millennials want to be forever young, but age is catching up with us. And it’s a race we can’t win.

Shout out to my fellow millennials. It’s been interesting to see that on TikTok, Twitter, Instagram, and Reddit, far too many of my fellow millennials claim they still look like they’re in their 20s. Sure thing, to my fellow delusional elder and younger millennials. The only person in their 40s who still looks like they’re 20 is Queen Sugar actress Bianca Lawson. And she’s Gen X, so not a millennial.

We don’t look like college-aged adults. I had hair in my 20s. Now, at 42, I have no hair thanks to #marriedlife (joking) and male pattern baldness. Suck it, genes! Some of us look our age, while some millennials look great for their age. Like Rihanna, Michael B. Jordan, and Beyoncé are all notable millennials who look fantastic for their age. Since they’re famous for their looks, it makes sense that they’d still be gorgeous even as they’ve gotten older.

Now, in the 90s, some middle-aged folks of the era smoked a pack of cigarettes a day, did tons of coke (not the soda), and drank like a fish. Hence, why we lost John Candy and Chris Farley way before either man hit 50. I will give millennials this: we have decided to take care of ourselves. I’m assuming that millennials who at least live in the United States try to stay healthier as we age because we still don’t have universal healthcare. A cancer diagnosis is expensive AF! (Institute & Society, 2021)

A 2019 survey by the American Heart Association found that millennials are more likely to engage in healthy behaviors, such as regular exercise and maintaining a healthy diet, than in previous generations.

Like millennials, Gen Z (born between 1997 and 2012) is more likely to prioritize eating healthy and getting regular exercise; however, they also prioritize their mental health and managing stress. (Study Shows Younger Generations Are More Health-Conscious Than Previous Generations, 2025)

In a report released by the American Psychiatric Association, Gen Z was more likely to have received treatment or gone to therapy (37%) compared to Millennials (35%), Gen X’ers (26%), Baby Boomers (22%), and the Silent Generation (15%).

It’s a good thing that our generation has stopped drinking and smoking as much as previous generations. We are prioritizing health and wellness more than ever. Plus, we are the therapy generation. Yes, it’s fantastic that we as a generation have taken mental health so seriously, and I hope Gen Z and Alpha continue this trend.

I’ll be honest, I dislike the habit of middle-aged millennials claiming to look like they’re still in their twenties. We look like uncles and aunties, moms and dads, grandmas and grandpas, and that’s fine. We can look good for our age and embrace aging gracefully. Why are we so youth-obsessed as a culture in the West? Let the 20-somethings have their early adulthood in peace, without trying to say that at 44 you still look like a 24-year-old. Only Bianca Lawson can claim that she’s ageless.

As millennials, we are now taxpayers, voters, and also parents involved in soccer. We are now managing organizations, working as school principals, and acting as elected representatives. It’s crazy to think so many of the ladies I dated in my young and single days are now responsible adults. Let’s say I was a bit reckless as a younger man. Hell, I find it hard to believe I made it into the responsible-adult era. Fuck! I’m too old for this adulting shit. A part of getting older is being responsible at work, for our children, for our countless bills, and for being a part of civil society.

I know previous older generations spent the last twenty years dunking on us millennials for being entitled and lazy, but that’s BS! We’re just a traumatized generation who came of age when Jerry Springer was Primetime daytime TV, President Clinton almost lost his presidency because of a blowie, and 9/11 happened while we all watched the Twin Towers collapse live on CNN. We’ve survived multiple recessions, fought in various wars, seen the rise of easy access to Internet porn on all our smartphones, and shitty reality TV. Plus, you raised us boomers, so our flaws are just a vivid illustration of your failures as parents (It’s just jokes). Millennials do not differ from other generations who’ve had to come of age in a wild world like ours. We millennials are aware of our shared trauma, and we try to avoid existential dread daily. I’m sure that Gen Z has generational trauma from reaching adulthood during a global pandemic. Thanks Coronavirus!

Now they say that with age comes wisdom, but social media and the 2024 U.S. election results prove that theory wrong. I will say I’ve earned my gray hairs. Plus, if you’re in your 20s, you are still figuring out this thing called adulting. Many young people care about what others think of them and try to please people. Hopefully, when you get older, you learn not to give a fuck about what others think of you. Yes, it’s lovely not to give a fuck. It’s okay to still be figuring out this thing called life as you get older, too. The secret is that millennials, Gen X, and Boomers are all still just winging it in life, if they’re being honest. So that’s my point for anyone under 30 reading this post.

We can still have fun, go out dancing, play video games, shoot hoops, go on an adventure, and get dolled up in our late 30s, 40s, and beyond. Getting older doesn’t mean giving up on life. It’s part of life. We grow old, and the only other option is death. We all will face our demise one day. It’s a fact of life, and maybe the fear of getting older for many millennials is the fact that we have to face our own deaths one day. But it’s strange to be in your 40s and want to look like an 18-year-old. I was a skinny, awkward, and unsure of himself type of guy when I reached adulthood. In my 40s, I’m sure of myself. The in-between years are the years that shaped me into the man I am today. I hope I have the pleasure of living a long life like Betty White or Morgan Freeman.

We millennials should not be afraid of getting older. It’s like a segment of my generation has forgone the stereotypical midlife crisis. Instead, they’ve taken up a mass delusion that they’re still young and hot. I know this is a sweeping generalization about an entire group of people having arrested development. There are plenty of well-kept middle-aged people. I know not every millennial thinks they’ve aged like Anne Hathaway. Many millennials are happy about becoming middle-aged. They’ve accepted the good and bad that come with it, like back pain and menopause. We millennials hate that inflation is through the roof and that many of us will never pay off our student loans. Hey, Uncle Sam, as long as I own you, you’ll never go broke. We hate that home ownership is out of reach for many in my generation, and that job security and retirement are a thing of the past. It could be that understanding the chaos around these topics stems from us millennials maturing, as the smell of change and the feel of challenges intensify in this adult chapter.

We’ve gotta accept that we’re getting fucking old. So, to my fellow millennials, we should be okay with being our age. There’s nothing wrong with aging gracefully. In fact, it’s a privilege to learn and grow as we age. That’s the point of life — to evolve.