For the Fellas
During the past couple of weeks, I’ve watched both Bill Burr’s and Dave Chappelle’s recent Netflix specials. I’m a fan of both comedians and was probably Dave’s biggest fan in the early 2000s. Unfortunately, in the age of Trump, everyone has become a troll. Both funny men used the queer community, child abuse survivors, and the #MeToo era as the butt of their jokes. These comedians seem to believe that PC culture has killed comedy as we know it, well, they’re wrong. People should be held accountable for their words and actions.
In this post Me Too era, some men are claiming, “I can’t even say hi woman without being accused of rape.” As my British counterparts would say, “Bullocks!” Unless you’re a total jackass like a Brock Turner with ill intentions, then saying hello isn’t gonna catch you a case. If you’re in the heat of passion, remember “no means no.” Consent is key!
The Age of Consent
Sexual consent is defined as:
Sexual consent is an agreement to participate in sexual activity. Before being sexual with someone, you need to know if they want to be sexual with you too. It’s also important, to be honest with your partner about what you want and don’t want.
You can make consent sexy and playful. Just keep on asking questions throughout your sexual encounter. Read each others body language. Pose questions like this, “can I kiss you hear,” or “do you like when I do this?” It’s hot to make dirty talk consensual. Just make sure both parties are not wholly inebriated, thus unable to consent. Hey, I was once a single broke college student. I personally know how drunk people can get. That’s the time when you grab your drunken friend a blanket and make sure they don’t choke on their own puke. Not get your freak on, that’s called rape!
I’m no angel, myself. I’ve come too strong, make lewd comments, catcalled, and even kissed a person who didn’t want to be kissed. I’m not proud of my actions, but I’ve tried to learn from my own stupid mistakes. Luckily, I had the chance to apologize to a couple of those women for my transgressions. I once wrote, “we men can do better.” I’m still a “recovering misogynist” and have a long way to go. Some dudes will shout, “But not all, men!” Of course, but the facts don’t lie
- One in five women and one in 71 men will be raped at some point in their lives
- In the U.S., one in three women and one in six men experienced some form of contact sexual violence in their lifetime
Women have to deal with the threat of sexual harassment, unwanted sexual advances, and fear of sexual assault all the time. So, there’s no such thing as a funny rape joke, sorry, Bill Burr! If you ask many men what their biggest fear is, you would probably hear this, “going to prison.” Why? Because they’re afraid some man or men will take some. Prison rape is very problematic. What’s worse is that prison rape is often treated as a joke in our society. It’s not a joke and should be taken seriously in both men’s and women’s prisons. But in the outside world, half the species (the female variety) has to deal with the threat of rape daily.
Doing Better
#MeToo isn’t saying that women are perfect creatures without flaws and all men are evil. Everyone has flaws and make mistakes. It’s about creating a world where people can live without the fear of assault or harassment because they’re a woman, gay, or trans. It means men shouldn’t avoid hiring a woman because they think they’re ‘hot‘ or men in leadership positions abuse their power by trying to fuck his female subordinates. Dude, there are plenty of single women who don’t work with you. You shouldn’t be hindering careers because you have an itch you need to scratch. There’s plenty of options out there on sites like Tinder, Bumble, or OkCupid. Or you can meet single ladies at a charity event, 5K, or a bar.
There’s an old saying, “if there is grass on the field, then play ball” when it comes young girls. It’s creepy and makes you look like a pedophile. Don’t say that shit, man. Children can’t consent, periodt! If you’re ass grown man, you shouldn’t be pulling a Roy Moore cruising for dates at the mall.
Yes, we men can do better, and #MeToo isn’t hurting your chances of getting a date. Just don’t be an asshole. #MeToo means that old saying ‘boys will be boys’ no longer a justification to harass people. Finally, as an improviser and fan of comedy, let’s just cancel all rape jokes. You know, for the culture!
Evolving Man Project 