Unfortunately, one of my favorite social media sites was brought by a megalomaniac billionaire. Like the other billionaire who owned it before wasn’t annoying enough, at least Jack kept a low profile except when sucking up to Prez 45. Elon Musk’s buying of Twitter allows him to become the world’s most famous internet troll. We all thought Donald Trump was the billionaire that highlighted as an Internet troll in their free time. Well, that has changed now that trust fund man-baby Elon Musk continues to tank Twitter and Tesla because he’s not as bright as he tries to tell the public.
Some people will read these words and claim I am jealous of the sunken place black Republicans’ favorite “African-American,” Elon Musket. First off, I don’t think billionaires should exist. If they do have to exist, we should tax the hell out of their obscene wealth and stop letting them commit tax evasion. Secondly, I’m a socialist, so I don’t believe that few individuals should hoard massive amounts of wealth while hundreds of millions of people live in utter poverty across the globe. Here’s the breakdown of how much a billion is compared to a million in one excellent tweet.
Elon Musk’s net worth is one hundred and sixty-nine billion, thus making him one of the wealthiest humans on earth. Like most uber-rich assholes, Musk buys a bunch of things he doesn’t need. All while CNBC tells us we’re all “poors” struggling with student loans and medical debt because we had the nerve to buy one too many lattes from Starfucks, oops, I mean Starbucks.
Here are five things Elon Musk could be doing with his wealth and time versus being the world’s most famous Twitter troll.
#1 Address Racism at Tesla
Tesla is quite a popular car these days. When it’s not catching on fire. You’ll be forever looking for a charging station on a long road trip. Since Musk has paid off useless politicians, the U.S. won’t be using our updating our existing railway infrastructure to design and develop high-speed rails like Europe and Asia. Nope, the elites have told us to buy overpriced electric cars to save the environment. Even though governments worldwide are still allowing oil companies to drill baby drill.
Elon’s Tesla company is now being sued for creating a hostile and racist environment for its black employees. Instead of banning journalists who criticize him on Twitter. Perhaps he and his Tesla board members should address the toxic culture at the brunch brigade’s favorite car company.
#2 Stop Union Busting
Teslas are overrated and ugly cars to me. But they have the advantage of looking better than Toyota Hybrids and Nissan Leaf, so they have that over the competition. The Tesla company and Elon Musk have been on a campaign to union-bust Tesla employees for years. Yes, Tesla is anti-union and anti-worker. I’m sure Tesla gets plenty of tax breaks from Uncle Sam, all while Tesla continues to step on the working people who build them.
He could use his wealth and influence to bargain with his workers and pay them fair wages. Nevertheless, like most of the world’s billionaires, Elon Musk is a selfish asshole who only cares about gaining more money and power.
#3 Stop Firing People
Elon Musk is much like the former disgraced World Wrestling Entertainment CEO Vince McMahon. On T.V. Vinny Mac portrayed an evil egomaniac boss who fired his employees at will because he’s a rich asshole. Elon Musk and Vinny Mac share this same passion in real life for firing their employees randomly.
Well, dumbass, you need employees to run a company, even a digital company like Twitter. Musk is running Twitter into the ground and firing tons of employees at the social media giant. That ain’t helping things over at the bird app; many users are flying away. At least Tom from Myspace added you to his friend list when you joined Myspace back in the day, not fire everyone working there.
#4 Get a Hobby
I’m sure Elon likes to know how his twenty-plus children’s trust funds get replenished. But his free time seems to be occupied with whining about people who dare criticize him on Twitter. Maybe babysit your brats? That’s a thought versus tweeting things from the toilet seat. I’m sure he’ll ban me if he ever reads this article. He has lots of money and free time on his hands. Most normal people would spend their time learning a new hobby or activity.
Elon’s rich af! He could travel the world, paint, play in traffic, or learn Japanese. It’s tons of things Musk could do with his free time. Instead, he’s just being an asshole on Twitter, all while his sycophants continue to suck up to him.
Remember when Elon Musk said he’d end world hunger? He doesn’t either because he got a thirteen billion dollar bank loan to buy his favorite social media site to ruin it.
#5 Become Batman
They’re over 3,300 billionaires, and those greedy fucks horde twelve trillion dollars of the world’s wealth. With all this money and time, none of these assholes have become Batman. I’m just saying learn some ninja shit, jump off rooftops, or drive a fucking rocket car.
Elon Musk thinks of himself as Ironman from Marvel Comics, but he’s not even the Tin-Man from the Wizard of Oz. At least in the comic book world, Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne are super geniuses. Elon is not a super genius unless you consider buying shit you don’t need because you’re bored with your dull life brilliant. Someone on Twitter said, “some men will buy an entire social media app versus going to therapy.” So, in the end, fuck Elon Musk and #EatTheRich.