With Me Too, the Cornell 7, and President Trump, rape culture is alive and well in our society. Liberals will never admit it, but President Joe Biden was elected despite multiple allegations of sexual assault and harassment. That halted Me Too’s momentum in early 2020, because the DNC had to defeat Trump. It would have been better to elect someone without sexual assault allegations. Or someone who wasn’t a racist, but I digress. Even the founder Tarana Burke of Me Too said that, as far as Joe Biden’s accusations go, “The defense of Joe Biden shouldn’t rest on whether or not he’s a ‘good guy’ or ‘our only hope.’ Instead, he could demonstrate what it looks like to be both accountable and electable.”
President Trump had a leaked video that surfaced before the 2016 presidential election, where he made this statement about women: “Grab em by the pussy.” He was also a close ally of the late disgraced pedophile billionaire Jeffrey Epstein. Trump is also a man with multiple sexual assault allegations of his own. Despite that, voters elected him president twice, and he secured the white women’s vote on both occasions.
Fast forward to 2026, and we have the Cornell Seven scandal, which has rocked the nation and put the Ivy League and the university system’s handling of student sexual assault under a microscope. Unfortunately, it’s not only Ivy League schools that are covering up sexual assault and rape on their campuses. This has led to a new battle of the sexes online, and in the discussion around the gang rape of Jane Doe by fraternity brothers on the Cornell University campus, too many men and pick-me women online have not looked good. They’ve victim-blamed or slut-shamed the victim. Many supporters of the Cornell Seven have claimed this woman is destroying seven promising young men’s futures.
No one is listening to actual women, who are the most likely victims of sexual assault and harassment. The court of opinion online isn’t reality, but it shows where we are as a society. When men are accused of sexual misconduct, their female accusers’ sexual histories are often nitpicked apart, especially when they are not the perfect victim. The accused men are sometimes portrayed as the real victim of a vindictive woman or girl. The Cornell Seven case, from the details, shows it’s very complicated since at one point the victim did consent to sexual intercourse with two fraternity members; however, after lots of drugs and booze, the alleged victim was no longer in a state to consent. Let alone consent to an entire fraternity being encouraged to join in on gang rape.
Consent isn’t complicated, and getting a person inebriated to the point where they have no idea where they’re at isn’t a time to invite friends for a sexual freefall. All parties need to be in a state of being able to verbally consent to sex with one person or multiple partners given the circumstances. Drugged and drunk people are in no state of mind to consent. It’s a reason we have laws against drunk driving, because of the dangers of driving while under the influence of alcohol. Impaired judgment, blackouts, and loss of control are all signs of drunkenness. Drunk people shouldn’t drive, and drunk people can’t consent in a sound state of mind to sexual activities.
The manosphere and the post-MeToo era are here. The COVID-19 pandemic created the podcast industrial complex, and the manosphere has been booming since 2020. I think the manosphere’s current prominence is a backlash to Me Too. A few powerful men faced accountability, and too many men flipped out. Hell, I’ve heard in many casual conversations that men have stated, “I can’t even say hi to a woman without getting Me Too’d.” Or they’ll say men are under attack. I’d say, as a fellow straight man, these talking points are absolute bullshit.
No, men and masculinity aren’t under attack. It’s still a very patriarchal society. Men need to understand consent better, and many men do understand consent and ‘no means no’. I’m not perfect myself; I will always contend that I am a recovering misogynist. Even as a straight dude, I have to contend with the sexism that’s been ingrained deep in my psyche. Like all of us living on planet Earth, half of the human species are, in fact, human beings. No matter if I think they’re hot or I think they’re grandma or even a hot grandma (shout out Marissa Tomei!), women are people with flaws, and all.
However, the manosphere is leading countless men astray. Andrew Tate is a human trafficker, accused rapists, and abuser of women. Kevin Samuels portrayed himself as a high-value man and spent his time on YouTube criticizing women (mostly black women) for being unhealthy and overweight. But he died himself due to an unhealthy lifestyle. Notable manosphere podcaster Myron Gaines is full of it too. The OnlyFans models he invites to his podcast to berate are paid for their appearances, and some have alleged that he and his co-host have tried to pursue them after their shows. The same women they drag in the mud for being ‘hoes’ and ‘sluts’ are often the objects of their desire. These leaders of the manosphere are often hypocrites or worse, abusers themselves.
So, hell yes, us men need to do better. For sexual assault and rape, it’s not all men, but it’s definitely always a man. According to the data, 90% of all rape victims are women and girls. Men commit over 99% of rapes, and the justice system imprisons only 2% of these rapists. The mythology that we men spread about false rape allegations isn’t a reality for most. That said, false accusations do happen, but they’re rare because women have more to lose by seeking justice for their own rape than their actual rapist. This is even more true if the accused rapist is a famous or wealthy individual. Cristiano Ronaldo, Chris Brown, Brad Pitt, Floyd Mayweather, and many other well-known men have faced accusations of violence against women, including some against very famous women. Yet none of these men has ever truly held them accountable for their horrible actions. We’ve seen far too many colleges fail to resolve rape and abuse accusations on their campuses to protect non-famous men too. In the case of Brock Turner, a man caught raping a woman, a judge threw out his case and said he didn’t want to ruin a young man’s future. Brock ruined his own future by deciding to rape someone.
The irony is that many men fear going to jail and prison, not only because of the horrible conditions many U.S. prisons exist in, but because of being sexually assaulted. On the flip side, women have to deal with the threat of sexual violence in every aspect of their lives: school, places of worship, work, home, or even on public transportation. As a man who has dated women and is married to one, I have plenty of women friends too. Far too many women I know and love have shared their stories of being harassed, stalked, molested, or flat-out raped. Only one woman I know said her stalker was a fellow woman. The rest of the victimizers were men. Often, men in their lives, people they once trusted. Lovers, husbands, brothers, fathers, uncles, stepfathers, teachers, coaches, bosses, or pastors — many men have violated women who trusted them.
This unfair treatment of women and girls won’t end without more men stepping up, even if it gets you called a simp, or a punk, or an ass-kisser. I’d rather be called that than an abuser or rapist. One time at Kroger, I had to intervene when a grown man was following two teenage girls around the store. They were visibly uncomfortable. Another time in San Jose, California, a friend and I stepped in between a homeless couple where the man was battering the woman he was with. We waited until the cops arrived. Yes, men know that unstable men can be very dangerous, but if we can stop a bad situation from getting worse, don’t be a coward; step in and do something or say something. Most of the time, the creep will back off.
I’m not gonna act holier-than-thou; I’ve made mistakes in my younger years too. I kissed my college crush in the dorms when I was dumb and drunk. She didn’t consent to it. I understand I came on too strong in grad school toward a potential love interest and made her feel uncomfortable. When I was a teen, I got rejected by a crush, and I called them a bitch. These weren’t my proudest moments, and I was fortunate enough to apologize sincerely to a couple of those women I mentioned for my inconsiderate behavior. I’ve learned to do better and be better in my life for women.
I’m married, but I still find women besides my wife attractive. I don’t act on those impulses because women’s bodies aren’t automatically accessible to me just because I was born with a Y chromosome. Women and girls of all stripes, from little toddlers to senior citizens, can be victims of violence at the hands of men and boys. We men can control our sexual urges; we aren’t monsters. However, some men can be monsters towards the women and girls in their lives. We men, can pass on these terrible sexist attitudes to our children. And yes, many women can internalize those same sexist attitudes. No, my post isn’t claiming that we need to put women and girls on a pedestal. They’re just people like me and like you reading this post right now.
Men of all creeds and religions need to embrace the Golden Rule and treat the women in our lives like full human beings. At one point, this site was called the Evolving Man Project, because the highest ideal of masculinity is to be a man who constantly evolves by challenging himself and his long-held beliefs every day. We have to raise sons who don’t harm women and girls because that’s what boys do. We should raise our kids to value others and their differences. But this can only happen if men do better.
