Black Man, Black Man…

As a black man in America, I recognize that there are many ignorant, hateful, and plain old silly stereotypes surrounding folks who look like me. However, some things perplex me as a black man about my fellow black men. Obviously, these things I’m going to point out don’t apply to all brothas, but they seem to be particularly unique to many black men. For example, why are so many brothas afraid of dogs? Also, why do so many brothas wear socks with sandals?

Why the Fear of Dogs?

I currently own a Plott-hound/boxer mix that’s afraid of everything from bicycles to our floor mop to feral country cats. She recently was bested by a feline much smaller than her. My wife loves walking Effie around the block because most people assume she’s a pit bull. Thus, no one screws with her, even though Effie is the friendliest and most fearful dog I’ve ever met. (RIP Effie.)

I’ve noticed one group of people who in particular stay clear of my dog. Fellow black dudes. From the football player-sized brotha who preferred to walk in the street versus cross Effie’s path, to the basketball player height brotha who was like “WHOA” when I first walked her through the hallway, to the young guy working at Kroger who cautiously asked to pet her while we waited in the parking lot. Hell, my older niece once dated a guy who was six-foot-two-inches and two hundred fifty pounds which was terrified of dogs. My sister had to lock up her Chow Chow, Cinnamon, because this tall, burly man was terrified of the dog.

Maybe it’s a collective consciousness flashback to slave days or the Civil Rights era when racist white folks used to sic their dogs on us. All we wanted was some freakin’ freedom. Anyway, to my brothas out there who are afraid of dogs, it’s okay. Most dogs are harmless. Dogs are one of the few creatures to truly like human beings. Hell, they even love a brotha like DMX, and we all know he’s cray cray!

Just listen to the Dog Whisper, Caesar Milan. A dog’s personality and temperament depending on the animal’s upbringing and care. Thus like most living creatures, they can be vicious or loving depending on various circumstances. Except for cats, they’re godless, furry little killing machines!

Why socks with sandals?

A big fashion faux pas wearing sandals with socks. For some strange reason, brothas all over the United States are the biggest perpetrators of this fashion crime. Socks and sandals. It seems many brothas have an aversion to showing off their feet. Are men taught that their feet are ugly or that they’re gay for showing off their feet? Look, it’s okay to be gay, straight, bi, or whatever sexuality you claim, even asexual. Showing off your feet doesn’t make you less manly no matter who you love or love in life.

The Lord himself, Jeezus, a.k.a Jesus himself, was famous for wearing thong sandals. Brothas tend to love that man (all you have to do is listen to any rap album or gospel record with Kirk Franklin).

Finally, brothas in other parts of the world where it is hot AF wear opened-toed sandals regularly. My brothas in the Caribbean, Brazil, Nigeria, and everywhere else where the temperature is warm to scouring hot, wear sandals without socks. That’s the point of sandals. Plus, let’s be honest, everyone’s feet are ugly, and that’s okay! Now get your Jesus sneakers on, playas!