Random Thoughts on Black Men: Pride Edition

It’s time to return to “Random Thoughts on Black Men.” In previous articles, I questioned why some brothas feared dogs, why some brothas wore socks with sandals, and some brothas felt the need to Hotep or black men’s colorism towards darker-skinned black women. In 2021, I did the third post on this topic where I praised brothas just for being awesome. 

Today, I’m revisiting some more random thoughts about black men. I will give three random thoughts on black men and the LGBTQ community. And since the LGBTQ community is vast and diverse. That means brothas are a part of it too. We must dispel the idea that the black community, particularly black men, is more homophobic than the rest of U.S. society. Black American culture is a reflection of U.S. culture. Black people are no more or less homophobic than the U.S. average citizen. 

As a black man, I’m aware of the false stereotypes that hinder black men in America and worldwide. However, I still wonder about things when it comes to black dudes. Today, I’m gonna talk about three thoughts on black men during Pride. Now, my opinions only represent myself, and I can’t speak for every brotha on the planet. So happy pride month, and read on! 

The emasculation of the black man and the gay agenda 

“Black men have long been emasculated in America. They were purposely separated from their families during the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade, and today they continue to be separated from their families due to the prison industrial complex. During and post-slavery, their genitals were also taken as trophy pieces during and after lynchings. This was done to cease reproduction, prevent sex with white women, for entertainment, and it was also a warning sign to keep other black men in check.”

 Glennisha Morgan, of the Huffington Post

U.S. history has the stain of slavery and ruthless violence against the black community. Unfortunately, this violence continues in the Post-Obama Era. Due to this egregious history, a small segment of black men have doubled down on how white supremacy is the problem, and the so-called ‘gay agenda’ aids racism to continue the emasculation of black men. This line of thinking is standard for my brothas that fall into Hotep ideology. My hotep brothas might say things like, “there were no gay black men in Africa before slavery,” or something ridiculous. Well, that’s totally wrong. LGBTQ people have always been part of the human experience. 

The so-called gay agenda is bs! And this ridiculous notion of black men being feminized to destroy the black family is crazy talk. Oprah Winfrey didn’t help when her show sensationalized black men being on the ‘down low‘ and thus causing the rise of HIV/AIDs cases in the black community. This only further stigmatized and pathologized black men in the LGBTQ community as being part of the ‘gay agenda’ apparently designed to emasculate the black man.

Misinformation and sensationalizing black sexuality further isolate black men who are bi-sexual, pansexual, or gay in the community. Rigid ideas about masculinity are pervasive in U.S. society. Anything outside the binary male-female dynamic is seen as an assault on the natural order of things. Hence the recent political assault on trans people’s rights in this country. This assault on rights won’t end at trans people; it will grow towards the entire LGBTQ community, which no doubt will hurt black people who are queer.

These discussions on the continued impact of white supremacy on the black community, sexual health and access to health care, HIV testing, and sexual relationships in the black community are worthy topics of discussion. But we need to have these talks in an informed and compassionate manner, not be boiled down to some sinister mythological ‘gay agenda.’ This site, the Evolving Man Project, challenges the notion that manhood, especially black manhood, is only just one thing. That proving yourself as a man isn’t to promote homophobia and sexism. Manhood can be whatever we want it to be, and men come in all varieties: gay, straight, bi, tall, short, fat, muscular, old, young, etc.

In reality, many happy and thriving black couples and families in that community that range from same-sex, opposite-sex, or polyamorous relationships. Black love is beautiful. Black men should be able to find love with whomever they desire. Finally, I think of queer black men like James Baldwin, Bayard Rustin, Langston Hughes, and countless others who dedicated their lives to making the world a better place for all black people. You cannot separate your gender or sexuality from blackness as a black person in this anti-black world. Black men must lift up our entire community in the centuries-long fight against racism and injustice we face in the United States and around the world. That includes uplifting our black brothas, sisters, and non-binary folks in the LGBTQ community too!

They gonna make me wear a dress.

The talented and underrated comedian, Jay Pharoah, seemed to be obsessed with the fact that Hollywood would one-day force him to wear a dress and make jokes. Dave Chappelle even commented on this imagined fear. First of all, some of the most famous male comedians and actors in history have dressed in drag for laughs or serious roles. 

This includes black men like Martin Lawrence and Eddie Murphy. It didn’t hinder their careers. Eddie Murphy has a kid with my childhood crush, Scary Spice aka Mel B. So, wearing a dress didn’t stop the ladies from liking Eddie. Also, comedians like Jay Pharoah can simply turn down those roles if they feel uncomfortable. But he claims he was fired from SNL because he refused to wear drag.

Remember, the legendary comedian and actor Robin Williams biggest movie of his career were called Mrs. Doubtfire, and he dressed as a female English nanny in that role. Brothas, we should move past this narrowly defined idea of black masculinity. You can say yes or no to a role if you’re an actor or comedian. But you can’t tell me The Nutty Professor wasn’t funny as fuck! Also, if it’s brothas out there that don’t want to wear a dress, that’s fine, but it might be some brothas that will either for a role, a drag show, or in their personal lives. That doesn’t make them any less of a man if you chose to wear a dress.

On Lil’ Nas X 

I know some brothas ain’t feeling the first mainstream openly gay black male rapper, Lil Nas X. Even some of his hip-hop peers tried to diss him publicly, only to slide in his D.M.s privately for a hook-up. Hypocrites of the worse type!

Despite all his chart-topping success, BET is hating on my man Lil’ Nas X and their refusal to nominate him for a BET Music Award. Well, fuck BET (it’s not black-owned anyway), and fuck homophobic rappers. It’s 2022! I like the young man’s music, and I find him entertaining. Do you Lil’ Nas X! Happy Pride Month y’all! 


LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – JANUARY 26: Lil Nas X, winner of Best Music Video and Best Pop Duo/Group Performance for “Old Town Road (feat. Billy Ray Cyrus)” and Album of the Year for his EP, 7 poses in the press room during the 62nd Annual GRAMMY Awards at Staples Center on January 26, 2020 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Amanda Edwards/Getty Images)

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