Ask a Black Dude? (Pride Edition)

Have you ever wanted to know what goes on in the mind of the average black dude in America? Even sistas wish they could read the minds of the men who are most closest to them? Today you’ll get the answers to five burning questions from the perspective of a grown-ass black man. Now, I don’t speak for every brotha in the United States or the entire world. And I’m definitely not a magical Negro that’s gonna save white folks with this one blog post, either. But I’m just a Kneegrow with answers to some random ass questions during Pride Month. Enjoy…


Are you a member of the LGBTQ community?


No, I’m just a straight cis-male. To the zoomers, I’m boring af. But I’m comfortable enough in my sexuality to see the reason why women and some men lust after Trevante Rhodes. Hell, I’d be a ladies man if I had a six-pack, too…lol! (Damn you IPAs!)

LONDON, ENGLAND – MAY 08: Idris Elba poses in the Winners room at the House Of Fraser British Academy Television Awards 2016 at the Royal Festival Hall on May 8, 2016 in London, England. (Photo by Stuart C. Wilson/Getty Images)


Is there a “Gay Agenda”?


Fuck no! There have always been people who dated, loved, lusted, and partnered with members of the same sex. Sexuality is a spectrum. The Kinsey study and many after that has only added to this fact. Also, we know gender is a social construct. Since I live in the West, Western Culture is obsessed with the binary and duality of human existence. Well, life isn’t so black or white; there are many shades of gray.


I think the whole idea of the ‘gay agenda’ gets thrown around because we’ve seen, at least speaking for U.S. culture, more LGBTQ representation in media over the last 20 years. We’ve come a long way in accepting folks, but we still have a ways to go. Sadly, for all the problems that impact the LGBTQ community in the U.S. I can say that this country is one of the safer places to be an openly out member of the LGBTQ community unlike other parts of the world. This is very unfortunate.


We have to work hard to ensure that we make the world a better place for people to be out and proud. So, we still got some work to do. But no one in the LGBTQ community is forcing their lifestyle on us straights. It’s just that more LGBTQ folks are being represented in movie, films, t.v., and social media nowadays. Plus, I think members of the LGBTQ community wouldn’t be wrong if they claimed it was a “straight agenda” being forced upon them at every turn. Last time I checked, there was no “conversion therapy” for straight people to become gay. I’m just saying, and shout out to Chick-Fil-A!


What are your thoughts on the “so-called” Down-low?


I think it’s exaggerated, thanks to the media. And how this country makes anything that the black community does ‘pathological’ and ‘deviant,’ hence the idea of black men being on the ‘down-low‘. A more accepting society of gay and bi black men would lead to more brothas being honest with themselves and who they are. We need to work as a society to show that manhood isn’t this narrow definition of masculinity. This isn’t unique to the black community; it goes for all of U.S. society. Manhood should be redefined.


Are you comfortable watching LGBTQ-friendly tv shows and movies?


Yes, Moonlight, in my opinion, was quite a triumph, and Brokeback Mountain was depressing as hell but brilliantly acted. Sense8 and Pose are among my favorite tv shows ever. I think both of those shows deserved at least five seasons. Hopefully, those shows can show that the LGBTQ community is as dynamic and complex as everyone else. In the end, it’s just people. But Pose has even helped a few of my family members become less homophobic and transphobic. I think that is a good thing.


So, is the black community more homophobic than others?


Hell no, again claiming that the black community in the U.S. is more this or that. It’s a deflection. The black community represents all of U.S. culture because we are interwoven into the fabric of U.S. history. So, if there are homophobic or transphobic black people, it’s reflection of the phobias that run deep in U.S. society. As I said earlier, we’ve come a long way, but we have a long way to go. That includes me; I’m married to a bi-black woman. I’ve learned a lot over the years about being a better ally but I still have some more growing to do.


Happy Pride Month!

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