The Bad Guy seems to be the type of man elevated by our society. These men’s legacy of being bad gives them infamy. The last two elected presidents of the United States both have credible accounts of misbehavior regarding sexual harassment and assault. Yet the American people still chose Trump and Biden, respectively, to be the figureheads of the U.S. empire.
On the flip side, in the shadow of the Me Too movement, the excuses and the turning of a blind eye to men who misbehave have been under fire these last few years. Rich, famous, and influential men have fallen from grace or been jailed for their heinous actions. Men like R.Kelly, Kevin Spacey, Harvey Weinstein, Johhny Depp, Bill Cosby, Jeffery Epstein, Kevin Samuels, Dave Chappelle, and Andrew Tate, to name a few.
Many of those men mentioned have been accused, convicted, or publicly shamed for their egregious behavior, words, and actions. Men like Winsten, Cosby, and Epstein have been through the legal process and had their legacies destroyed thanks to their predatory behavior. Men like Dave Chappelle and Andrew Tate have been taken to task online and in the media for their words that have been called homophobic, sexist, and downright hateful towards women and members of the LGBTQ community.
Still, many of these bad boys have millions of acolytes and stans who revere and worship them. Hence why #FreeRKelly trends on Twitter every few months. Despite his outrageous and downright dangerous comments about women, domestic violence, and rape, Andrew Tate has billions of views on TikTok and other social media platforms.
Their fans will claim they’re being canceled and that political correctness prevents men from speaking their minds. I disagree; holding grown-ass men accountable for their words and actions is imperative for a functioning society. Especially those men with money, power, and fame. Defenders of these infamous men will say the public has “canceled” them for speaking their truth, even if their truth is at the expense of those from marginalization communities or women. I’d say it’s a good thing we are holding people accountable for their actions and words. We do this with regular people. Why do people with fame and notoriety deserve a pass to be terrible? They don’t.
The controversial viral TikTok star Andrew Tate has been banned from Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter after his rapid rise to social media infamy. His legion of followers worked overtime to make his message go viral on social media. Andrew has said some pretty dark shit, and his extreme views are mainstream. Boys as young as ten and eleven are spouting his uber sexist rhetoric and ideology.
Defenders will claim that Andrew’s freedom of speech is being taken away. I contend that he still has a right to say whatever he wants about the opposite sex and the LGBTQ community. But he should be held accountable for his hateful and sexist views. And what his followers have promoted over the last year. Conservatives always talk about personal responsibility. Andrew Tate has to take personal responsibility for all the insane shit he has said over the years. I don’t feel bad for the guy because, thanks to his “Hustler University‘ Ponzi scheme and TikTok fame, he’s a very wealthy fellow these days. He’ll be fine until the law catches up with him. But again, personal responsibility.
Do the Bad guys always win? In a Post-Me Too era, I think its’ a mixed bag. Men like Epstein, Weinstein, R.Kelly, and Cosby faced justice for their horrible actions. That’s a good thing. In this post-Me Too era, more people are willing to talk openly about consent, abuse in intimate relationships, and domestic violence. Even if these dramas play out in the public sphere, like the messy and crazy Johnny Depp and Amber Heard saga. These topics used to be spoken about in hushed tones behind closed doors. Nowadays, these topics are open for public discussion, which is a good thing.
Now, I’m not claiming that I’m Mr. Prefect. I wouldn’t call myself a feminist or womanist. I will always say I’m a “recovering misogynist.” I’ve been raised as a man in a profoundly patriarchal society for almost four decades. I have to check in with myself and my bias daily regarding women and girls and my own masculinity.
What about everyday fellas like myself? I’m not a TikTok star, singer, wealthy businessman, or famous actor. I’m an average joe, and there are plenty of us. I’m not here to state “not all men,” either. Because plenty of everyday guys do fucked up shit, sometimes they get away with it. Sometimes, that asshole gets the job and house and goes home with the prom queen. Life isn’t always fair.
I say don’t be a bad guy, be an Evolved Man. This is beyond all bs alpha male versus beta male or high-value male versus the simp debate that rages on Twitter and Reddit. No, an Evolved Man means you’re a man that’s willing to learn, especially when you fuck up. It’s a man who uplifts and inspires others versus bullying people in life to get ahead. These men stand up for themselves and those less fortunate, even when it’s not the most popular thing. They know it’s the right thing to do.
It doesn’t mean being the “Mr. Nice Guy” who is only nice to people they are attracted to because one day they’ll finally see how great you are and finally sleep with you. Or they’re nice and agreeable to make themselves small to gain others’ approval. No, it’s about being a decent man who knows when to give and take. A man who can build healthy romantic and platonic relationships that don’t involve abuse, manipulation, or violence. Finally, it means being a man who owns up to your mistakes.
In reality, some bad guys get away with being bad until death. But once they die, everyone is waiting to spit on their graves. You don’t want to be a man who leaves that type of legacy, do you? So I think the only time to root for the bad guy is in movies, comic books, or pro wrestling.
In real life, no one likes the bad guy. I’ve been friends with guys like this in the past. They’ve lied, stolen, and assaulted people in their lives. To put it in layman’s terms. They’re total assholes. I hope men realize you don’t have to be a bad guy to get ahead. They’re many times I’ve bent the rules, but I know I won’t have a bunch of people show up to my funeral to ensure I’m dead because I’ve wronged them in some way. In the end, don’t be the bad guy!